THE PHOENIX AND THE CARPETBBCTV
An agent sent me to Ealing film studios to start work on a seven day contract.
Well thats good news to me. Better a seven day contract than a day here and there.
Its 7:30 in the morning and the 2nd A.D. says Go to dressing room five, get into your costume and come back down to make/up
In dressing room five theres no costume. (has he got the number wrong?)
Im back down again. Excuse me, theres nothing in room five for me to wear
Its hanging on the rail, I put it there myself Ok (Ill have another look)
As I start to go upstairs, I bump into Terry Greenham a prop man for the BBC.
Terry used to get up and sing a good song in some of the pubs I was compering in.
A Tony Bennett style songsterWhat are you doing here Aitch?
Im here for seven days on The Phoenix Oh youre one of them Them?
Yea, a South Sea Islander. Youre on your own today but tomorrow theres a dozen of you. Plenty of Hula dancing and frightening kids.(Wait till I get hold of the agent that sent me here. (Alf Costa)
I find the costume (Grass skirt) and head for the make/up room.
Two nice young ladies are covering my face and body with dark brown make/up.
Then the hairdresser finds me a big black wig and some earrings and theres talk of putting a bone through my nose. (Art for arts sake etc).


AITCH AND TERRY GREENHAM NOT ON HAWAII FIVE O

Now it seems the director wanted a tribe of blue eyed South Sea Islanders.
On the first take that Im involved in a small white child is crawling through the jungle undergrowth and lands at my feet.
The director pans the camera over my feet and up the length of my body to my face. This is the childs eye line. Now say something and frighten her He barks.
(Now Im not to up on South Sea talk. We dont get many Islanders in Islington)
Im lost for a second then it comes to meTARZAN
UMM GOW AHH I roar. (It works as she bursts into tears)
It took Terry Greenham and co ten minutes to stop laughing. It was a good week.
Aitch,
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